Grey Squirrel's Page of Silliness

Dang it! Police Seek Owners Of Stolen Lingerie

Fort Collins, CO- Police investigating the theft of
four pairs of women's undergarments from a clothesline
found more than they had bargained for.
They discovered a stash of more than 100 pieces of
women's panties, bras and various other unmentionables
in the hollow of a tree.

A 1-year-old male grey squirrel, Marcus, has been charged
with numerous offenses including trespassing and theft.
"He was mortified by the police's discovery of his hidden cache
of undergarments." One officer said.
``We have a lot of kinky lingerie that we don't have owners to,''
said an unidentified detective on Thursday.
They are calling for residents to step forward if over the last couple
of months they had noticed that undergarments have
gone missing without explanation.
``As humorous as this could be portrayed, we still have a crime.''
Police describe it as ``A wake-up call to the community.''

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