The Fearless Vampire Hunters

In your backyard!

YOO HOO! I'm available as a postcard


Sometimes when you look outside you'll see a squirrel digging up your perfectly manicured lawn. It is probably stashing a nut with the idea of digging it up later when the food runs low. Of course, you and I know that the squirrel will never remember to dig that nut up. But squirrels are obsessive about burying nuts. You can't stop them without resorting to violence and who wants that? Squirrels certainly do other things to test our patience. A squirrel in the neighborhood is like having a roommate who leaves dirty underwear lying around the house.
So why would you want squirrels in the neighborhood?
You've probably heard people say that a snake is good to have in the garden. Or a spider is a welcome addition to a yard. A cat in a barn? It is because these creatures I've mentioned all do the same thing. . . they keep pests away.
What you are about to learn is true. It is a little known fact about squirrels that has only recently been discovered. It seems that squirrels may keep away the biggest pests of them all, Vampires!
Recent graveyard exhumations in Serbia reveal startling proof that squirrels may have been hunting vampires since the eighteenth century. Exhumed vampires buried in the early 1700s were found with the smallest of stakes through their hearts. The stakes were driven into the bodies with perfect, some might even say 'mystical' precision and would have disabled the heart instantly. Tiny mallets have also been recovered.
This new development coincides with the discovery last May, of several graves found near the village of Babuna. Upon excavation, archeologists found the remains of squirrels. The animals had been ritualistically placed in the graves along with artifacts and stores of nuts, presumably in order to assist them in the afterlife. It was noted at the time of the discovery that the artifacts included one miniature mallet and several small stakes per squirrel. No one gave it much thought at the time.
The legends have always existed in this part of the world but until now, scientists have had no proof that squirrels hunt down and kill vampires. One might ask,' why would squirrels hunt vampires?' That secret has not yet been revealed to us. But until we know more, it may be in everyone's interest to make our neighborhoods and yards as squirrel-friendly as possible.


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