And Ruin is fixed
on my tower and my wall
-- Byron
Squirrel Enforcement Army Handbook
Details Ease of Swiping Birdseed
The Squirrel Enforcement Army
is engaged in large-scale
science and technology thieving, targeted primarily
on gaining access to various squirrel-proof birdfeeders,
according to a translated S.E.A. manual.
The thieving handbook was obtained by the Pentagon
earlier this year and reveals instructions on how squirrels
can get into any birdfeeder with minimal effort.
The book has been in print for more than 20 years.
The 250-page book, "Get into any Birdfeeder," is not classified.
However, Pentagon officials said its contents provide
new insights on how squirrels are able to
rob any birdfeeder of its booty.
One of the most startling revelations of the book
is that it was written by a retired, disgruntled Audubon Society president
and has never been a secret manuscript.
Simply put, it is a textbook available to everyone -
But squirrels have embraced it and made it their bible.
To make Grey Squirrel's Page of Silliness your default homepage
While you're here, send or receive a disturbing,
yet free postcard!
13 New Cards Added!
You are nut number
All squirrel animation and photo alterations by b.kee(c)1999
Original squirrel photo (c)Gregg Elovich
This Website ©Grey Squirrel's Page of Silliness 1998 All Rights Reserved