Beyond a certain point
there is no return.
This point must be reached.

-- Franz Kafka

New Neighbors

Fred Rogers, the curiously quiet and amiable host
of the popular children's show "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood"
announced yesterday he was leaving public television to join forces
with the Kentucky branch of the Squirrel Enforcement Army.

"It may sound crazy to say that a guy like me, in a zip-up cardigan,
talking to cheesy puppets and playing with a train could be a
close friend to someone like rebel squirrel leader, Stockton Dupres.
But it's true." Says Rogers," We've been pals for years."

He went on to say that Dupres had discouraged him from making
their relationship known while Dupres was a convicted killer on the run.
"He was concerned for my reputation." Said Rogers, in a thoughtful tone.
"But now that he has been granted a presidential pardon, he has
invited me to join the army and work side-by-side with him to change
the way squirrels are treated in our country."

Sources close to Dupres say that Rogers has a
calming influence on him. And since receiving his
presidential pardon from outgoing president Clinton,
Dupres needs all the calm he can muster as he intends
to fight the rest of the war without bloodshed.

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