This time, like all times,
is a very good one,
if we but know what to do with it.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Kentucky Squirrels
prepare for new war

The Kentucky branch of the
Squirrel Enforcement Army is expanding
into Colorado in a bid to outmaneuver
squirrel hunters with which it has fought a
long and bloody war in Kentucky, the FBI said.

An FBI spokesperson quoted S.E.A. sources
as saying the move was prompted by
a recent deal between rebel squirrel leader,
Stockton Dupres and the Colorado-based
Rocky Mountain Division of the S.E.A.,
run by abert Squirrels.

Stockton Dupres has been at war
with the Kentucky squirrel hunters
and the Anti Squirrel Coalition
for several years, and stayed out of
Colorado as the war in Kentucky kept him preoccupied.

In recent moves, however, the Kentucky squirrels,
under Dupres' command, have negotiated deals with
three independent factions of the S.E.A. and have been
in contact with a fourth.
The Squirrel Enforcement Army operates as a
kind of "business" by offering "contracts" to other
Like minded subversive squirrel groups.
With Kentucky subdued under S.E.A.,
the contractors will remain in the
state to maintain the current climate.

While no overt hostilities have erupted in Colorado yet.
It is well known that the elite Rocky Mountain Division
has not been able to gain any leverage against
the hunters on their own.

The FBI strongly believes that Dupres' involvement
will bring about drastic changes for the abert.

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