The unnatural fascination
and attraction to nuts.
While most would prefer
do not exist,
they most certainly do as is
obvious to anyone who visits
a city park during a feeding frenzy.
Neither psychosis nor mental retardation
appears to be inherent in the nut-ophiliac.
The most common motive for nut-ophilia
is possession of an unresisting and unrejecting
Nut-ophiles often choose occupations
that put them in contact with the object(s) of their desire.
The nut-ophile might become a panhandler near
the break room of a Planter's factory or
take up residence in the attic of a mixed-nut merchandiser.
Psychodynamic themes and defense mechanisms
for this not-so-rare disorder will be discussed.
Let's begin with a quote from Bushytail Doe,
widely regarded as one of the most
intelligent nut-ophiles in history.
He preferred to fondle his nuts immediately
and then proceed to perform bizarre rituals
with them before burying them or cracking them open.
"You take in its erotic aroma as you roll it,
over and over in your paws,
looking for that special place that will make
the cracking of it . . . a majestic experience.
A squirrel in that position is God!
You then make the very serious decision of whether
to possess it completely,
making it part of you or burying it,
and possibly forgetting it until it is
too late to dig it up.
This is always difficult
for me so I will often take it into
my benefactor's home and hide it under, say, a pillow on the bed.
There, it cannot take root and grow from me.
It is there at my beckon call whenever I choose
and cannot deny me.
The place where you hide them becomes sacred to you,
and you will always be drawn back to them.
My madness, as some call it, has given me the happiest moments of my life."
( Bushytail Doe)
Bushytail Doe used to fain an injured leg
in order to incite pity.
Once he got the victim (usually a kind hearted animal lover)
to give him nuts, he would begin to monopolize all of their time,
making it difficult for them to show the same
generosity they had shown him, to others.
Often, they would become ill from overwork,
trying to provide nuts for his insatiable appetite.
It didn't matter much to Bushytail Doe,
once they were unable to provide acceptable nuts,
he would simply look for a new victim.
While Bushytail Doe was probably not the most perverse nut-ophile,
his case best illustrates the controlling
behavior patterns associated with nut-ophilia.
Nut-ophiliacs generally tend to be squirrels
who are very average looking.
But they are out of control and allow
their desires to control their every waking moment.
The subject of nut-ophilia has always been surrounded by myth,
rumor, and speculation.
Theories include stress to the unconscious, chromosomes,
hormones, neural networks, learned behavior, and environmental factors.
Nut-ophiles do not ordinarily seek therapy,
and much of the available research has shortcomings,
consisting often of single-subject
studies without control subjects.
Currently, there is no cure.
This Website ©Grey Squirrel's Page of Silliness 1998 All Rights Reserved
Original squirrel photo (C)Gregg Elovich