Kentucky - A squirrel hunter died from radiation poisoning after he unwittingly drank radioactive moonshine he found under a tree in the woods, officials said Tuesday.
The man was admitted to a local hospital earlier this week, suffering from internal eruptions. Before he died, he was able to tell authorities what led to his demise.
He told police that he and his two squirrel dogs were out for some sport when he stumbled upon a jug of moonshine just sitting under a tree. The man said he couldn't believe his good fortune and sat down to have a drink. He awoke three hours later with severe abdominal pain and managed to get to his trailer home 2 miles away before collapsing.
Authorities were quick to pinpoint the perpetrator as none other than squirrel rebel leader, Stockton Dupres. The FBI was called in to secure the area while an intense search was conducted. Dupres was never found but officials discovered other booby traps such as acorn bombs that ignite when stepped on and at least one blow-up sex doll contaminated with radiation . . . Which lead to the hospitalization of two sheriff's deputies.
Squirrel hunters in the area are being warned that, "If it looks too good to be true, it probably is so don't touch it!"
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