Rumors have been circulating for months about Janet Reno's obsession with rebel squirrel leader, Stockton Dupres. But until Friday, they were just rumors. An internal White House investigation has uncovered proof of the illicit relationship in a dozen love-E-mails sent from Reno's private account. The letters were sent to a web based E-mail address, believed to belong to Dupres.
"At this point, we are looking at the possibility that Reno may have compromised,
not only her reputation . . . But the safety of all squirrel hunters in Kentucky." Said one investigator.
There does not appear to be any letters from Dupres to Reno. But Dupres supporters are quick to point out that Dupres is far too cunning to let himself be caught in such a scandal. "Reno should have taken her cue from Dupres and covered her tracks better," said one.
There was no comment from Reno but friends say that she is depressed and suffering the pangs of unrequited love. Now that the letters have been discovered, Dupres will certainly never contact her again.
Intelligence reports suggest that Dupres was using Reno to further his cause as he lead the Kentucky branch of the Squirrel Enforcement Army on the bloodiest rampage in the history of squirrel hunting last September; resulting in the deaths of 73 squirrel hunters, Eric Rudolf, Rosie O'Donnell and Boris Yeltsin.
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