Grey Squirrel's Page of Silliness

Squirrels to File Class Action Lawsuit

WASHINGTON - Squirrels of America, unite! That is the motto of a group of squirrels in Washington as they prepare to file a class action lawsuit in federal court charging the United States of discrimination and under-representation in all areas of government and entertainment.
The suit, charging a pervasive atmosphere of harassment against those who dared challenge the status quo, will seek compensation for all squirrels living in America; an injunction barring the government along with individual states, from continuing illegal discriminatory practices; and an order requiring it to reform its squirrel hunting policies and squirrel-brain eating practices (Kentucky!).
Further, it would require film and commercial makers to employ more squirrels. A national holiday, such as Easter, where rabbits get all the glory, would then be implemented. The proposed holiday is said to be Valentine's day. A squirrel, instead of a fat cupid, would be the mandatory icon for the holiday of love.
Filing of the lawsuit follows a complaint filed by the squirrels in March, where an administrative judge agreed the complaint constituted a class action, paving the way for the suit to be filed in federal court.
The squirrels refrained from filing suit until this time because President Clinton continually offered assurances that their grievances would be addressed.
Of course, they were not!

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All squirrel animation by b.kee(c)1999
Original Photo on this page (before it was sadistically altered) (c) Gregg Elovich


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