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City Bans Squirrel Lap Dances

Colorado Springs, CO - The City Council voted to ban squirrel ``lap dancing'' in area parks after a raucous 13-hour meeting that lasted until early Friday morning. "It is the latest craze in park-squirrel-feeding," said one council member. "Local squirrels will get up in your lap and do this cute little shimmy for a couple of peanuts."
Apparently, not everyone enjoys having a squirrel jump in their lap while they're trying to have lunch.
One unidentified citizen put it this way." There I was, having my bagel in Acacia Park when this squirrel jumps on my lap and starts doing this little boogie. I tried to ignore it at first but then I realized it wasn't going to stop until it got part of my lunch."
Similar complaints have forced the city to crack down on the dancing rodents, causing protests from local senior citizens who look forward to seeing and feeding the dancers in the park.
``We are profoundly proud of our dancers,'' said Olive Wilderman who lives across the street from Acacia Park.


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