Grey Squirrel's Page of Silliness

Squirrel taunts contestants with beer and cigarettes

"Those who were to live
wept bitterly"

Robert Hughes - The Fatal Shore

Stockton Dupres' Reality Gameshow
'Escape from Hell'

25 squirrel hunters in the Danville, KY area
were quick to join up for the new reality gameshow,
"Escape from Hell" last month.
The contestants were told that they would have to shoot
their way out of a squirrel-infested, fiberglass forest.
The winner, the one who bagged the most squirrels
without shooting another hunter, would win $500,000.

The contestants were told that beer would be provided
and the squirrels would be disadvantaged
because the tree trunks were purposely rendered
too slippery for them to climb. The hunters reluctantly
turned over their weapons and cigarettes
for the purpose of having them logged -
That is when everything came undone.

The guns and cigarettes were not returned and
the hunters were herded into the back of a panel truck
and driven to an unknown destination where they
were released, defenseless, into a REAL forest
occupied by none other than rebel squirrel leader,
Stockton Dupres and the
Kentucky branch of the Squirrel Enforcement Army.

Cameras record their every move and the
local nightly news broadcasts the half-hour segments.

Viewers watch in horror as
the hunters are stalked, pelted, humiliated
and forced to act silly for peanuts (their only food)
and the occasional cigarette.

Attorney General Janet Reno, who once carried
on an internet affair with Dupres
has stated openly that if squirrel hunters are going to continue to fall
for Dupres tricks of offers that are too good
to be true - the government will not bail them out.
Critics charge that Reno is still in love with Dupres and
will never raise an army against him.
Further, they believe this is a ploy to draw attention to Dupres' war
as the Vice-Presidential Debate
at Centre College in Danville - October 5, 2000, draws near.

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All squirrel animation and photo alterations by b.kee(c)1999

Original photo (c) Gregg Elovich


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