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FDA Approves Bushytail Envy Treatment

WASHINGTON -The government approved the genetically engineered drug Nuticade on Tuesday. Nuticade has been proven useful in fighting the early symptoms of Bushytail Envy.
Bushytail Envy afflicts more than 2 million Americans and is characterized by feelings of inferiority due to the lack of a big, bushy, squirrel tail. In extreme cases, the afflicted individual develops an irrational hatred of squirrels. Often having delusions about squirrels wanting to take over the world, etc. Lives are wasted, marriages are broken and fortunes are often lost over the constant obsessing over squirrels.
"However groundbreaking this new treatment may be," confides one researcher," Many Bushytail Enviers do not think they have a problem and the situation is worse now that it has become the affliction of choice in many subcultures."
He went on to say," In these 'subcultures,' it is fashionable to wear prosthetic bushy tails."







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