Squirrel Faux Pas

Call each other 'tree trash'

Out 'Cute' each other at the park benches

Dig up a nut immediately after another squirrel buries it (before both parties forget where it is)

Achieve 'hero' status by being the first in the neighborhood to figure out how to break into a new (squirrel-proof) birdfeeder, then fall for squirrel-fishing

Put gum in someone's tail

Steal kibble from a pitbull and live to brag about it at the funeral of one less fortunate

When Mother squirrel leaves, jump into the nest and put your cold feet on her naked babies

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©1997 greysquirrel@greysquirrel.net