It is always so pleasant to be generous,
though very vexatious to pay debts.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Matt Drudge

ABC Fires Radio Host Matt Drudge For Trying To Save America!

ABC fired cyber-gossip Matt Drudge as host of its
syndicated radio show after learning that Drudge has
sent numerous, all-expense-paid squirrel-hunting vacations
in Kentucky, to both presidential candidates.

ABC radio executives had been courting Drudge to move from
Sunday nights to five days a week--until corporate higher-ups
were notified by the FBI of the vacations sent by Drudge.

"The whole notion that I am in league with the
Kentucky branch of the Squirrel Enforcement Army
is an explosive accusation, one that should not be
spouted so lightly," Drudge says.

Rebel squirrel leader, Stockton Dupres is suspected of several,
recent, high profile murders in Kentucky. If someone wants someone dead,
all they need do is send them to Kentucky with a valid
squirrel-hunting license in hand. Voila! That person is gone
and nothing can be pinned on the giver of the squirrel license.

Sources close to the Gore and Bush camps confirmed that each candidate
had received at least two of the all-expense-paid-vacations in the last several days.
The licenses (included in the vacation packages) were traced to Drudge.

Gore gave one of the vacations to his caddy and had planned to use
the other one himself over the weekend -
but it was missing from his desk on Saturday.

Bush gave both of his vacations to campaign organizers
after saying to one, "Hell, I don't need a license to hunt squirrel,
I've got friends who live on a wildlife refuge.
We sit on the porch and pop 'em like balloons."

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All squirrel animation and photo alterations by b.kee(c)1999

Original Photo (c) Gregg Elovich


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