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To die,
to be really dead -
that must be glorious...

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FBI confirms, Stockton Dupres is Undead!

As an ominous fog floats, sloth-like, over the woods and hollows
of the 'Dark and Bloody Ground,' known today as Kentucky -
Squirrel hunters wait and hope to hear something on the fate
of more than 30 of their comrades, missing since Tuesday night.
The hunters were warned to stay away from the woods once it was
learned that Dupres was still alive. But something lured them away
from the sanctuary of their homes and local officials think it was more
than just a taste for fresh squirrel brains.

A high ranking FBI investigator admitted today, that rebel squirrel leader,
Stockton Dupres has been dead for nearly 300 years.
"It is the only possible answer." He went on." How else could he elude us as he does?
How can squirrel hunters be lured to their deaths, time after time, unless he has
some kind of supernatural powers of control over them?"

A grave from 1730 was found in a wilderness area of Kentucky last year
bearing a tombstone with the name of Stockton Dupres and a preserved portrait of the squirrel.
DNA tests on preserved fur found in the exhumed coffin along with carbon dating used to
determine the age of the grave, have left very little question that it is authentic.

Dupres supporters say it is the fault of our culture, that he cannot die.
It is impossible for him to rest in peace while millions of squirrels are murdered
each year because of the specieism which reins supreme in our world.
One supporter put it this way:
"Stockton Dupres is the manifestation of our own collective conscience . . .
And he is not going away until WE change."

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All squirrel animation and photo alterations by b.kee(c)1999

Original photo (c) Gregg Elovich


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