Grey Squirrel's Page of Silliness

Rosie O'Donnell Found Dead

Rosie O'Donnell, hater of guns and squirrels, appears to have been the victim of both.
Her bullet-riddled body was found alongside the Ohio River Monday in North Central Kentucky. FBI officials are blaming the murder on escaped death-row squirrel, Stockton Dupres.
Earlier this month, a report hit the newswires that Dupres had been captured by ferret bounty hunters in Olney, IL where he was hiding out. It is now known that O'Donnell set the bounty on Dupres' head and set up a rendezvous in Meade County, KY to pay the bounty hunters. Apparently, ferret bounty hunters are not particularly bright and the cunning Dupres left them stranded, naked and drunk at a rest stop near Monticello, IL.
Dupres managed to get away with the bounty hunter's money, minivan and several firearms they had purchased from the local Kmart just days before.
From the looks of the death scene, O'Donnell put up a ferocious struggle and was undaunted by Dupres' initial acorn-bomb attack. With severe scratches and bite marks on her hands and arms, as well as unidentified squirrel blood on her person, it is believed that she held Dupres in a death grip until he managed to use one of the Kmart firearms against her.
Officials fear the worst now that Dupres might be injured.
As one FBI agent put it, "We have every reason to believe he is armed and very, very dangerous."
Dupres is also wanted for the murders of 73 Kentucky squirrel hunters, Eric Rudolf and former Russian president, Boris Yeltsin.

Read about Boris Yeltin's murder

Read about Rudolph's murder

Read About Dupres' daring escape

Read the shocking Death Row interview given just days before his escape!

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