Bushytail Envy

Do you or does someone you know have it?

We believe that Freud may have first discovered this complex psychological issue and was absolutely horrified by its existence. We have reason to believe that he closed the book on it and tried to cover up any evidence of it before moving on to lesser problems.
Years of misdiagnosis, confusion and embarrassment have made the problem worse for sufferers. But with a new millennium comes hope and help, say experts.
No longer the laughing stock of the world, bushytail enviers strut their stuff (and their clip on) with the pride of a peacock.
For those who have not come to terms with their affliction, it is not such a happy story. Sadly, those miserable enough to have bushytail envy and won't admit it are among the most disturbed individuals to walk the earth. Full of self-loathing and hatred,lashing out at those they most want to be accepted by, namely, squirrels. Their actions serving only to drive a bigger wedge into the festering gap they have created for themselves.
The web is full of these tormented characters. If you don't believe us just do a search of anti-squirrel sites. They all think that having a big, natural, bushy tail makes one superior to others (of course it would) but if you weren't born with it, you can certainly add one to your person easily enough.
Perhaps the most pathetic part of it is that when one of the unenlightened sees someone wearing a clip on, he or she mumbles "loser" under his or her breath. But at the end of the day, alone to themselves, out comes the clip on. And there they sit, alone, sniveling. Afraid to let the world in.

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