Squirrel of the Month
The Axis of Evil
"What you have to
consider is the possibility
that God doesn't like you.
Could be, God hates us.
This is not the worst thing
that can happen."
- Fight clubThe Axis Deer
Is this what President Bush refers to as the 'Axis of Evil?'
Originally a native of India, the Axis deer were introduced
to Texas in the 1930's and are now quite numerous
and widespread.
Could it be that President Bush has had run-ins with
the critter pillaging food from his ranch?
Is that why they are evil?
Apparently, the Axis deer changes colors with the seasons.
As the Earths changing 'axis' creates seasonal changes,
the Axis deer simply changes its color too,
giving them camouflage advantage.
Is this why they are evil?
As you can imagine, squirrels are not pleased.
Squirrels have long believed that they were the 'Axis of Evil.'
Toiling hard to live up to their reputations, squirrels have
worked themselves silly breaking into birdfeeders,
destroying attics and roofs, disrupting entire neighborhoods
by pitting neighbor against neighbor in small turf wars.
Squirrels have filed a grievance against the president
and hope to be in the number one position again once the
facts are laid out. Of course, the White house suggested
that squirrels apply for a different title such as
"The Axis of Absolute Evil."
But Global Squirrel Network attorney, Festus McCool explained,
"Axis of Evil is the best name.
It's brief, to the point and it sounds pretty cool.
Why should squirrels accept anything less when
everyone knows that squirrels deserve the title
more than some goofy color-changing-deer?"
Previous Honorees
Jan/Feb 2002
Sept/Dec 2001
August 2001
April/July 2001
Jan/March 2001
Nov/Dec 2000
Sept/Oct 2000
August 2000
June/July 2000
May 2000
March/April 2000
February 2000
January 2000
December'99
November'99
October'99
September'99
August'99
July'99
May/Jun '99
Mar/Apr '99
Jan/Feb '99
Nov/Dec '98
