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Park Squirrel Guilty
of Axe Murder










A squirrel who dug up a small axe in a local park
and attacked an unsuspecting acorn has
been found guilty of the murder.

Rubbs, a 3 year old fox squirrel, sat impassively
as a jury returned guilty verdicts on three charges
including one carrying a life sentence.

A jury of his peers found him guilty of the senseless murder
of the unidentified acorn and the attempted murders of two others.

They were told that Rubbs became angry when he was unable
to open the acorn on his own. In a fit of rage, he dug up an axe
that he had found last fall, and began chopping wildly on the acorn.
Once it was mutilated, he turned his attention on two nearby acorns
before he was subdued by other park squirrels.

Rubbs has pleaded guilty to murder and attempted murder
and will be sentenced at a later date.

Another squirrel who owned one of the injured acorns,
broke down in tears while describing the unnecessary mutilation
of his delicious nut.
"He might well have killed that one too." He said as his voice cracked.
"After he was done, it (the acorn) was unfit to bury
and had to be eaten immediately."



To be continued...



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