Squirrel sits defiantly in front
 of the Hart County Court House, 
watching the Sheriff's office across the street.

"Discovery results
primarily from the
accumulation of error."


Hart County Kentucky-Over 350 enslaved squirrel hunters
were liberated and returned to their homes Wednesday.
They were being held against their will by Stockton Dupres'
rebel squirrel army in a secret camp near here.
For more than 3 years, the men were forced to work in
various nut-mines across the state and in underground
tree-condo manufacturing plants.

The mass liberation was the result of local and federal agents
joining forces over the last year.
In October of 2001, an escaped slave stumbled into the Munfordville, KY
Sheriff's office with a story that sent chills down the spines of all who heard it.

The unidentified man was held in a safe house for the duration
of the investigation in order to keep his escape a secret
from the rebel squirrel army.

The man also had to undergo extensive psychiatric treatment
due to the inhumane treatment he received during the
year and a half he spent in a tree-condo plant.

He was also branded on his backside
with the symbol of the rebel squirrel army-an acorn.

When authorities surrounded the camp, they were surprised
to see how lightly it was guarded.
In fact, some of the guards were what the squirrels refer to as converts.
Converts are men who have renounced squirrel hunting after being captured in order
to receive better food and accommodations at the camp. Some eventually came to be so
trusted by the rebels, that they were left to guard other slaves.

Police say that the converts are hated by the regular slaves
and may never be able to return to their own communities.

Preliminary analysis of over 100 interviews with the liberated slaves
reveals that over 90% of them had been denied their
basic human rights to smoke cigarettes and drink beer.

"The worst of it," said one, "Was that the squirrels would smoke right in your face, knowin' how bad you wanted a cigarette. And on real hot days, the squirrels would have cold beer sent to the converts who never offered one to us. It was unspeakable torture…really." A tear rolled down his cheek as he quickly turned away.

The mass liberation of the slaves signifies a major development in the region. A spokesperson for the FBI said that the squirrels had underestimated local law enforcement, which is evident in the way the camp was guarded. "The rebels had gotten too smug and complacent," he said. "They really didn't think that anyone would come after them."

One of the more confusing aspects of the case is that only 19 of the 350 men
were ever reported missing by their families.

To be continued . . .

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All squirrel animation and photo alterations by b.kee(c)1999
Original squirrel photo (C)Gregg Elovich
Most Music on this site from unknown sources


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