Many people's tombstones
should read, 'Died at 30,
buried at 60

Nicholas Butler

McDonald's has been accused
of extreme insensitivity after
releasing a new sandwich called
the "McRebel" in Kentucky

McDonald's has released a new sandwich called the "McRebel"
in Kentucky, at a time when Stockton Dupres' Rebel Squirrel Army
has paralyzed squirrel hunters in the state.

Thousands of hunters are facing defeat and humiliation in Kentucky
as the world watches them fall under the squirrel uprising,
which began in 1999.

The launch of the new hamburger has infuriated the SDL (Squirrel Defamation League)
and generated a storm of bad publicity for the fast-food giant.

The concoction of vegetarian beef, dandelion, tomatoes and polk
on a corn-bread sandwich is said to be based upon an authentic Kentucky
recipe for squirrel (without actual squirrel-meat) and is being sold
to Kentucky consumers.

But the SDL, trying to raise funds to assist the hunters,
say that the timing of the McRebel marketing campaign is insensitive,
crass and ill-considered and have demanded remedial action from McDonald's.

"It's inappropriate and distasteful to launch a hamburger
called McRebel when large portions of Kentucky are on the verge
of falling under Dupres' maniacal dictatorship.

Aware that it has a public relations embarrassment on its hands,
McDonald's has been quick to launch damage control in the area.

A spokesperson for the company, said she was sorry the name
of the product had offended many.
"That wasn't our intention," she said. "We acknowledge
that we have chosen an unfortunate time to launch this
new product…but it's a very tasty sandwich and
Stockton Dupres approves of it."

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All squirrel animation and photo alterations by b.kee(c)1999
Original squirrel photo (c)Gregg Elovich
Most Music on this site from unknown sources


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