- Merle Haggard
Down every road
there's always one more city
Authorities Use Lie
Detectors on Squirrels!
Kentucky - One by one, the subjects followed
a peanut trail which led into a shack where they
were hooked up to a polygraph machine.
The purpose: to determine whether the squirrels
were members of Stockton Dupres' rebel squirrel army.
Three squirrels admitted guilt when confronted.
But many others claimed that they had accidentally
met the rebel squirrel leader at a Halloween party
and as soon as they realized who he was, they left the party.
The rest of them flunked the questioning and
were barred from city parks.
Some of their peers threw acorns at authorities
as the banned squirrels were led out of the parks in shackles.
Authorities said they have no choice but to use extreme
measures in order to avoid another deadly squirrel uprising
like the one in '98, when 73 squirrel hunters were tortured and killed.
Rebel squirrel leader, Stockton Dupres was convicted of
masterminding the murders but escaped from death row
and received a pardon from outgoing President Clinton.
To be continued . . .
If this makes no sense to you
And you want it to,
There is a link to Army of the Dead
inside where you can catch up.
While you're here, send or receive a disturbing,
yet free postcard!
You are nut number
The opinions expressed by Stockton Dupres do not
necessarily reflect the views of this website or its creator.
All squirrel animation and photo alterations by b.kee(c)1999
Original squirrel photo (c)Gregg Elovich
Most Music on this site from unknown sources