- George Orwell
"During times of universal deceit,
telling the truth becomes
a revolutionary act."
Members of the Kentucky Branch
of the Squirrel Enforcement
Army try to Enlist!
Recruiters report a rise in squirrels
attempting to enlist, but most would not
be considered good candidates.
Members of Stockton Dupres' elite forces went to the
U.S. Marines recruiting station in Lexington, KY.
Wednesday morning, reporting for duty.
They had become interested in becoming Marines
after hearing about a big nut in Afghanistan
that needed to be found.
They were just a few of many area squirrels who
dropped by recruiting stations, offering help or requesting
to enlist in the armed forces.
Unfortunately, recruiters said, most did not meet
the desired qualifications.
"You see a larger influx of squirrels wanting to serve their
country when they think there is a nut to be had.
But they're not what we would consider good candidates."
Said one recruiter.
"Squirrels from Dupres' army have military training
and are seasoned in guerrilla warfare.
The problem is that they have been on the wrong side
for too long and well, their tactics are a bit shady;
some of them are felons. . .
Of course, no one is going to say that to a Kentucky squirrel,
so we tell them that they don't qualify because
they lack a high school diploma."
To be continued . . .
If this makes no sense to you
And you want it to,
There is a link to Army of the Dead
inside where you can catch up.
While you're here, send or receive a disturbing,
yet free postcard!
You are nut number
The opinions expressed by Stockton Dupres do not
necessarily reflect the views of this website or its creator.
All squirrel animation and photo alterations by b.kee(c)1999
Original squirrel photo (c)Gregg Elovich
Most Music on this site from unknown sources