Dupres calls for peace
with squirrel hunters,
while Osama Bin Laden
searches frantically for a
way out of Afghanistan . . .
so he can use free squirrel hunting license.
Just hours after US intelligence reported
that Osama bin Laden had received an
all-expense-paid, squirrel hunting vacation
to Kentucky from an unknown source,
and may actually be headed for Kentucky,
the Governor of Kentucky received a letter
from rebel squirrel leader, Stockton Dupres.
The leader of the Kentucky Branch of the
Squirrel Enforcement Army has offered
peace to his homeland and is asking that
the Kentucky squirrel-hunting season be called off.
As America readies herself to combat an unknown
and potentially more lethal enemy than she has ever faced,
Dupres said that all Americans have to drop their
own personal prejudices and stand together.
On Saturday, he sent a letter to the Kentucky Governor,
asking that all squirrel hunting in the state be
stopped immediately and indefinitely.
"Kentucky squirrels are Americans, too!" He wrote.
"And Americans should not be
fighting Americans right now!"
Normally, squirrel-eating Kentuckians might
laugh at such a bold request.
But worn down from numerous squirrel uprisings
in the past several years and a new enemy
waiting at the gate, the request will be
To be continued. . .
If this makes no sense to you
And you want it to,
There is a link to Army of the Dead
inside where you can catch up.
While you're here, send or receive a disturbing,
yet free postcard!
You are nut number
The opinions expressed by Stockton Dupres do not
necessarily reflect the views of this website or its creator.
All squirrel animation and photo alterations by b.kee(c)1999
Original squirrel photo (c)Gregg Elovich
Most Music on this site from unknown sources