Forthwith this frame
Of mine was wretched
With a woeful agony
-Samuel Taylor Coleridge
When Stockton Dupres finally awoke,
he found himself in a most unfamiliar nest.
When he attempted to stir, he found himself
encumbered by something else that was unfamiliar to him.
His own body seemed to be getting in the way
of his normally agile movements.
He looked down to see that his furry belly
(that he had never really looked at before)
had taken on the appearance of a birthday balloon,
low on air. It sagged out over his feet leaving
only the tips of his toenails visible.
He gasped in horror, "I'm Fat!!"
Overcome with confusion and disbelief, he made his way
to the edge of the nest and looked out over a perfectly manicured lawn.
A tidy garden off to his right and a small patio with outdoor furniture
to his left forced his vision straight ahead,
meeting the modest ranch home, head on.
So this is what the Devil had in mind for him.
To make him morbidly obese and plunk
him down in suburbia Hell!
"The Devil forgets," he thought to himself.
"That I have led armies to victory. A spare tire and
temporary residence in 'who knows where,
is not likely to stop this squirrel!"
He would need to learn where he was and what year.
Before he began his descent from the tree, he noticed
in the corner of his nest, a perfect golden acorn.
"Lilith." He cried as he thought about the other thing
that Satan had taken from him.
As he slowly made his way down the trunk,
he was overwhelmed with the weight of his lower body.
It was all he could do to keep from letting go as
his muscles ached for relief.
A sparrow buzzed around him, making
derogatory remarks about his weight.
As soon as he reached the ground, he made a leap for the bird
as it dove in close to his head. But as he moved forward,
a toe on his right rear foot tangled with the blob of fat dragging
from his stomach and sent him floundering to the ground.
The bird struggled to stay in flight as she laughed hysterically,
Dupres yelled out in defense,
"The Devil made me fat! This is not my fault"
To be continued . . .
If this makes no sense to you
And you want it to,
There is a link to Time Travel
inside where you can catch up.
While you're here, send or receive a disturbing,
yet free postcard!
Enter Grumpy's Letter Contest!
You are nut number
The opinions expressed by Stockton Dupres do not
necessarily reflect the views of this website or its creator.
All squirrel animation and photo alterations by b.kee(c)1999
Original squirrel photo (c)Gregg Elovich
Most Music on this site from unknown sources