Nobody realizes,
that some people
expend tremendous energy,
merely to be normal.

-- Camus

The Ten
Squirrel Commandments

1. Thou shalt eat everything thee steals,
For it is more pleasurable to eat the nuts of
thy neighbor than it is to pillage thine own stash.

2. Thou shalt not carve for thyself a graven image -
As shiny objects can easily be found in all places,
where there be drawers and cupboards.

3. Thou shalt not take the name given thee by some lowlife human
as anything more than a tool for gaining leverage.

4. Remember the Sabbath day, for it is the day when
thou can find many birdfeeders unguarded.

5. Honor thy mother, for she is the only one who will nourish
and protect thee once the mating season is passed.

6. Thou shalt not murder unless an acorn is at stake.

7. Thou shalt not commit monogamy.

8. Thou art expected to steal.

9. Thou shalt bear false witness against thy
neighbor whenever necessary.

10. Thou shalt covet thy neighbor's birdfeeder;
Thou shalt covet thy neighbor's ill-begotten nuts,
his nest, his human servant,
and anything else that is thy neighbor's.

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All squirrel animation and photo alterations by b.kee(c)1999

Original photo (c)Gregg Elovich


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