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Kentucky - Three Hart County squirrels have been
detained on suspicion of digging a tunnel to smuggle
drunken squirrel hunters out of the county,
police said on Friday.

They said the squirrels opened a bar called the
"Free Beer 4-U Lounge" -- as a front.
The suspects lured unsuspecting squirrel hunters
into the bar by offering free beer to anyone with
a valid squirrel hunting license.

A tunnel led from the bars only restroom to a large,
underground cargo container about 200 yards away.
A squirrel stationed inside the restroom behind a
one-way-mirror would wait until a squirrel hunter was
using the urinal, and then flip a switch.
A trap door under the urinal would open, dropping the
man into a tunnel. The tunnel had been equipped
with a conveyer belt so the inebriated men could
be easily moved to the holding area.

A neighbor living about a mile up from the bar on a seldom
used rural road, contacted police after noticing semi trucks
coming and going at all hours. Apparently the holding tank
would fill up in about 2 hours and drivers would come to
remove the passed out hunters. Authorities are not sure
where the men were taken. But it is feared that they are
being forced to work in underground sweatshops for the
Rebel Squirrel Army.

The neighbor who tipped off police did not want to be
identified but did comment on the situation.
"I'm no squirrel hunter but I was skeptical about going into
a bar run by squirrels…especially with them offering free beer.
You gotta know they're up to something.
But I guess them squirrel hunters just couldn't
resist such an offer."

Authorities are even more puzzled by the lack of concern
shown by families of the missing men.
"This has been going on for over a year."
Said one officer. "But not one relative has reported anyone missing."

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