All currency converted to nuts upon entering

Hunting for Bubba

Warning: The content of this story may be offensive to one or two.

It's a new form of entertainment, and squirrels
are paying thousands of nuts to shoot
naked hunters with paint ball guns.
They're coming to Kentucky to do it.
This bizarre new sport has captured the
attention of squirrels around the world.

Squirrels pay anywhere from 1,000 to 5,000 nuts for
the chance to come to the middle of the forest to shoot
what they call "Bubbas" with a paint ball gun.
Squirrels have come from as far away as Scotland.
The squirrels get a video tape of their hunt to
take home and show their friends.

The men are not allowed to wear protective gear --
only flip-flops on their feet.

The shooters are told not to shoot the Bubbas
below the waist, but not all squirrels follow the rules.
One squirrel shot a Bubba and bragged,
"I got the one with the biggest nuts!"

The main goal is to be as true to nature as possible.
"When men hunt squirrels," said one unidentified shooter,
"the animals aren't wearing armor, so I don't want to see
any protection on my Bubba either."

The paint balls that come out of the guns travel
at about 200 miles-per-hour. Getting hit with one
stings with clothes on, and when they hit
bare flesh, they are powerful enough to draw blood.

Jim (not his real name) is a Bubba who took a
paint ball shot to the scrotum. He says,
"It hurt. It really hurt. I didn't think it was going to hurt so bad."
When asked if he cried he says, "Yeah, a little bit."

So why do hunters agree to strip down and run
around the forest dodging paint balls?
Jim says it's the beer.
"I mean, it's 2 cases of your brand if you don't get hit.
And it's 1 case of some random brand if you do.
It's a win, win situation."

The men and squirrels say this is all good, clean fun.
But there are several psychologists who say that
for some squirrels, playing out this aggression may
lead to other, more violent acts against humans.

To be continued...

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Original photo,
All squirrel animation
and photo alterations by b.kee(c)2003
Most music on this site from unknown origins.


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