Some suspect that Nutford's squirrels have conspired
with scientists to replace all the humans with computerized
android duplicates.
People who worship squirrels, buy the best nuts for them,
build tree condos, and chase the birds away.
The humans in Nutford are so busy catering to
their bushytailed idols that they rarely have
time for social interaction with other people.
And when they do, talk quickly turns to the best
nuts to buy, and how very wonderful their dear,
do-no-wrong squirrels are.

Friends and relatives in other towns have expressed
concern over what they see as brainwashing by the squirrels.
Before moving to Nutford, relatives of some of the residents
described them as avid bird feeders and watchers, viewing
squirrels as nothing more than a nuisance.

But most of them were squirrel hunters.
One man who asked not to be identified spoke candidly
of the brother he no longer knows.
"Virgil and me, we grew up huntin' those varmints.
He was the best shot among us." His eyes welled up as
he watched from the front porch as Virgil worked feverishly,
putting the finishing touches on a tree condo.
"He don't even have time to drink beer no more."