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Man Says Squirrel Mind Control
Made Him Send Threatening Letters

Hart County, KY

A man accused of sending letters full of
off-white powder to more than two-dozen
Hart County citizens said
Squirrel-mind-control made him do it.

Elwood ‘Bud Bud' Noolin said the
Rebel Squirrel Army kidnapped and implanted
mind control devices in the ear canals
of several area squirrel-hunters,
including him, over the summer.

He claimed that he was lured into the woods
with promises of free booze. He was then held,
against his will, by the rebels for three days
the week of July 4th. However, police said there
were no reported abductions that week and Noolin
is refusing to give the names of the other implantees.

Although the powder was sent to fellow squirrel hunters,
friends and relatives, they support him.
"Of course Bud Bud wouldn't report an abduction
by them squirrels." Said one friend who asked
not to be identified.
"None of us would, ‘cause all they want is free publicity."

All the powder tested negative for anthrax.
The powder was a sinister blend of pulverized
peanut hulls and anti-itch powder.
DNA recovered from the powder matched Noolin's,
leading to his arrest.

It is believed by many that he may be telling the
truth because he normally does not eat peanuts.
Authorities admit that rebel squirrel leader,
Stockton Dupres, and his followers are known to
use alcohol to draw hunters into traps.



to be continued...


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